HILLIARD, Ohio — The woman who says she was sexually assaulted by a Hilliard Darby High School teacher over a decade ago is sharing her story to shine a light on grooming and sexual assault between educators and students.
Franklin County Municipal Court records show 48-year-old Brian Tonti was charged for allegedly being involved in sexual relationship with Nicole Kiefer during the 2010-11 school year.
Kiefer said trauma does not have a timeline and victims should be able to share their story when they feel comfortable. She says victim blaming is why many victims stay silent.
"There’s no equation on how long it takes to process trauma. There's things you blacked out, there's things that you just need to process when your mind is fully developed,” says Kiefer, who shares as an adult, she is finally processing that she was sexually assaulted by an educator.
"As I got older, and I'm in the education field, and realizing the experience that I had was not normal, it was not healthy, it was not safe,” Kiefer said.
Kiefier said the relationship started off innocently, but quickly escalated with texts and written letters, which later led to meetups before and after school.
“It would start by him saying you know, you're a special student, you're a special student, well, then you're a special someone for me, and you're someone special to me. And you know, we are special together for a certain reason,” Kiefer said.
She said on her 18th birthday, Tonti pursued a physical relationship.
“Then it's you know, let me show you how I feel about you in a more physical intimate way,” Kiefer said.
Kiefer said her background made her an easy target for grooming.
"My parents were going through their divorce. I didn't have eyes on me, I was not confident,” Kiefer said.
Sexual violence specialist Susan Wismar didn’t want to address this case specifically, but she says grooming is a manipulation tactic used through coercion.
“It will be trusted adults in the lives of children that can protect against groomers, right? It is when we have this in isolation when we have adult and child relationships in privacy and isolation that these behaviors can go unnoticed,” says Wismar.
Kiefer says she didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone.
“He taught me to how to keep information from other adults, how to, you know, hide things. Lie for him,” Kiefer said.
She explains she is still dealing with the trauma to this day.
“I put on like my straight face have put the emotions behind and fight. And then I break down on weekends,” Kiefer said.
Lillian Howard from LSS Choices, a nonprofit that serves victims of domestic violence, said it can take victims of sexual assault and violence years to share their story.
"Our brains heal and deal with trauma differently as well. So for many people, a lot of times they when it happens, you just kind of walk away and forget about it, and then something triggers it and it comes back to you,” Howard said.
Kiefer hopes her story encourages change in and out of the classroom, and that there is further training and education for parents, students and educators on appropriate attention between adults and minors.
“There needs to be conversations about what a healthy relationship looks like. And I will tell you, as an educator, there are children who just gravitate towards you. And they need a solid role model because they don't have that when they leave the school,” Kiefer said.
If you or anyone you know may be facing sexual assault or violence, you can contact the Ohio Sexual Violence Helpline for anyone needing support or information. Their number is 844-OHIO-HELP.