COLUMBUS – Emotions are running high nationwide right now, making the conversation of mental health an important one.
That conversation may be especially important for children right now.
10TV spoke with Dr. Jacquelyn Doxie King, a pediatric neuropsychologist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, to learn how parents can help their kids cope through their emotions.
“Although these conversations are difficult, parents should not be afraid to be honest with their children,” Dr. Doxie King said. “Children are more aware about events that are happening in the world than parents realize and conversations only increase understanding and their ability to cope with these things.”
As with the events unfolding here in Columbus and across the country, Doxie King told 10TV that explaining the complicated, painful and at times scary situations surrounding police brutality and racial injustice can be an ongoing conversation.
But where a child is developmentally also plays a role, she said.
“For preschoolers they are more concrete and literal. They may feel like something they witnessed or overheard is actually happening in their environment and they may also start to reenact those things through their play,” Dr. Doxie King explained. “Whereas school-aged children may take it more personally and have fear surrounding what's going on and they think that it might actually happen to them or their families.”
Parents should start by asking what their child already knows, she said. For an older child, that could mean talking about the specific instance that happened to George Floyd.
Older children also benefit from discussions surrounding historical references or explanations of systems the help support racism in the community, Dr. Doxie King said.
“For a younger child you can say, ‘You know, it seems like a lot of people are angry. What do you think about that?’ Dr. Doxie King suggested.
Keeping a level of predictability or routine can help kids through these emotions but children can also benefit from seeing examples of helpers, Dr. Doxie King added.
“Showing them helpers in our community who are helping other people or they’re helping clean up any damage that’s occurring,” she said. “For black children or children of color, discussing things like stories of resilience, survival and hopefulness but also balancing the threat that they may experience in their daily lives.”
For teens, Dr. Doxie King said, it may not only be what they see on the news or in attending protests downtown that causes distress, but also the dialogue with friends and what they are seeing on social media.
This is particularly true for black children and children of color, who, in middle school and high school, may be subjected to social media that contains more blatant racist content than parents are aware of.
To identify distress in kids, Dr. Doxie King explained that parents need to be ready for a wide range of emotions from their children.
“You can have anxiety and fear but you can also have sadness, anger and irritability,” she said. “A lot of kids, because of things going on, they may have had more difficulty focusing or paying attention. So that’s also something for parents to be aware of.”
Children also often pick up on their parents emotions, Dr. Doxie King said. So parents shouldn’t be afraid to express that they are feeling a certain emotion and why.
But she also emphasized that it’s important for parents to educate themselves.
“If they feel uncomfortable with a topic, they’re more likely to avoid it,” Dr. Doxie King said. “They also have to realize some of their biases and reflect on those things and look at various news sources but also documentaries and podcasts and things like that so that they can feel comfortable presenting the facts to kids.”
One of the resources offered by Dr. Doxie King is the book, Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice by Marianne Celano PhD.
Below you will find more resources suggested by Dr. Doxie King to help parents talk to their children about the unrest and racial injustice happening right now.
Parents Education and Self Care
- https://centerracialjustice.org/resources/reading-lists
- https://youtu.be/l_TFaS3KW6s
- https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/
- https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/index
- https://www.tolerance.org/topics/race-ethnicity
- http://www.raceconscious.org/
- https://www.embracerace.org/
- https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/racial-stress
Talking to Kids about Racism and racial violence
Children’s Mental Health
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/health-wellness-and-safety-resources/helping-hands/helping-children-feel-safe-in-stressful-times
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2019/01/using-emotional-language
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2019/01/what-is-anxiety
- https://centerracialjustice.org/resources/reading-lists
- https://youtu.be/l_TFaS3KW6s
- https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/
- https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/index
- https://www.tolerance.org/topics/race-ethnicity
- http://www.raceconscious.org/
- https://www.embracerace.org/
- https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/racial-stress
Talking to Kids about Racism and racial violence
Children’s Mental Health
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/health-wellness-and-safety-resources/helping-hands/helping-children-feel-safe-in-stressful-times
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2019/01/using-emotional-language
- https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2019/01/what-is-anxiety