The movie "Mean Girls" is all about the struggle of fitting in during those critical high school years and the lengths some people will go to be considered popular.
While the Hollywood portrayal of high school isn't always realistic, mean girls are real.
Many of us can remember a time when we weren't invited to a birthday party, or maybe we got picked on for something we wore. Even the tiniest negative comments can stick with you for a while, but there is a way to avoid this "mean girl" behavior and it starts with self-awareness & self-care.
"The old adage is 'hurt people hurt people.' So if we've been hurt, the easiest thing to do is spread that hurt," said author Achea Redd.
Redd is the author of 'Be Free Be You' and the founder of 'Real Girls F.A.R.T' which is a space that empowers women to become the best version of themselves by being (F)earless, (A)uthentic, (R)escuers and (T)railblazers.
Redd says the mean girl tendencies start young.
"It can be something as simple as, my daughter came home sad today because three girls she normally plays with on the playground excluded her from a game."
For parents, Redd says what's even harder to swallow is if your child is the one being mean.
"That can be very difficult to deal with because then we have to put up the mirror to ourselves and say, 'Huh, where did our daughters learn this behavior? Is there something I am modeling in front of her?'"
To stop the mean girl process, Redd says it's okay to face the emotions. Whether you're angry or sad, don't bottle it up. Mental health awareness is crucial in the process of making mean girls kinder.
"Crying and taking a nap resets the brain in the same way. If we learn to just take those pauses and give ourselves time to sit in that emotion and feel it, I think we'll be better off," says Redd.
The moral of the story is to be nice and take care of yourself. Celebrate the wins but also share moments where you are vulnerable.
"True self-care is self-love. True self-care is taking care of our own issues internally, so we don't pass on that trauma and whatever issues we're dealing with onto future generations," Redd offered.
